Richard Lawton

Musing on life, the universe and everything

Making sense of chaos – Part 3

Posted on 19 December 2011 by Richard

Continuing my series on making sense of chaos, I want to draw some threads together.  If you haven’t read the previous two parts, now would be a good time.

Since childhood I’ve loved the Wile E. Coyote vs Roadrunner cartoons. What has always amused me is the way the Coyote runs off a cliff and carries on running on thin air. All is fine – until he looks down. At which point gravity takes over: kersplat!

It seems to me that what is happening right now is the global coyote has just looked down. There is no solid ground underfoot.

So how did it happen? Who do we point the finger at?

One of the main causes of the current problems is that money is not real. If you look at an English £20 banknote you’ll see the legend “I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of twenty pounds.”  Once upon a time (which is how all good fairy stories begin) this was true: you could go to the Bank of England and exchange your £20 note for twenty-poundsworth of gold. But no more. A banknote is 2 grams of paper, with zero intrinsic value. It is an IOU; but where once it was an IOU for something, now it is an IOU for nothing.  We only use it because we believe it has value. What we have is technically termed a ‘fiat money system’ – a system not backed up by a specific commodity. Another term might be ‘collective fantasy.’

It only works if we all believe in it, as long as nobody rocks the boat.

It seems to me that the financial institutions have behaved like infants who have not yet grasped the principle of delayed gratification. “MORE MONEY! WANT IT NOW!!!” This might have been manageable, were it not for the fact that the financial industry employs some of the keenest minds around. To those of us who don’t possess their kind of knowledge and skills, some of the schemes they have devised and some of the creative accounting are staggeringly incomprehensible.

Bankers – gotcha!

It is, I think, unarguable that the financial services industry has been out of control. It is, of course, the job of government to regulate the industry so it would seem that they have failed to do their job. Politicians thrive on popularity. So while the financial services industry was apparently delivering more and more wealth that enabled the politicians to finance their plans, they had little incentive to rock the boat, to kill the golden goose. They clearly failed in their responsibility to ensure economic stability and well-being.

Politicians – gotcha!

But then we are left with the question – whose job is to regulate the politicians? These very politicians who failed to regulate the bankers and conspicuously failed to regulate themselves – as the expenses scandal demonstrated. And who is in charge of the politicians?

Well, that would be me. And you. And all those who have the vote. Us.

Ouch.

We may think that we live in a democracy, but that is patently untrue. What we have is actually elected dictatorship. Every 5 years we elect a group of people who have absolute power over decision-making. Pre-election pledges are sometimes kept, but are broken more often than not. There is no substantial consultation. Did you want a choice over the Iraq war? Tough. Want a referendum on the EU? Don’t hold your breath.

The root of the term ‘democracy’ is Greek: people power.

But we give a group of people absolute power. We hand over our individual power and retain none for ourselves. And every 5 years we are asked – pretty please – to sign it away yet again; we happily comply with a simple ‘X’.

So for me trying to make sense of this global chaos, there is a simple conclusion. Much as I want to blame the bankers and the politicians, to blame the greed of others or unfettered capitalism, I am left with a self-reflective question:

What do I do with my power?

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Making sense of chaos – Part 2

Posted on 30 November 2011 by Richard

Inner world, outer world

The riots caused a lot of English foreheads to be furrowed in perplexity, wrinkled in concern. I feel that those who were shocked fail to understand human nature and its wider manifestation in social structure.

Humans are not born civilised, but with animal natures. We certainly have an innate capacity for becoming civilised, but it appears that we are not genetically shaped to be so: feral children (those raised by wild animals or who have suffered severe and persistent neglect from human parents) are like wild animals, and even when brought into a caring human environment they struggle to acquire even the most basic of social skills.

No, children have to be taught how to become human.

In the early stages of child development, a baby is shaped by its proximity to mother. This is true not only psychologically, but physiologically – the baby’s body learns to regulate itself by attuning to its mother’s systems. Then there are the wider processes of socialisation and enculturation, in which the child learns both the skills required to function in society and the values and behaviours considered appropriate.

Part of this process of socialisation involves children coming to terms with the reality that they must give up some of their freedoms (behaviours, desires, needs) in order to ‘belong to the tribe’.  This starts with the immediate family: “If I want mum and dad to love me, I must do x and must not do y.” This experience widens in scope to friends (“If I want to make friends I must…”), to schoolteachers and thence to other authority figures and society in general.

In order to belong to the tribe we have to limit ourselves. This is the basic principle of being civilised: having the ability and willingness to keep our self-centred desires within the bounds of what is socially acceptable.

But our animal nature doesn’t go away, nor does it become civilised.

Read that last line again.

What happens is that our cognitive abilities develop (the ability to think, reason, process) we make internal contracts with our inner drives.

To anyone who is a parent the scream “WANT IT NOW!!!” will be all too familiar, as will your own endless explanations of why your child can’t have an ice-cream, or needs to wait until their birthday or Christmas, or whatever. You will also recall that this principle of delayed gratification doesn’t come easily to children.

What is happening when a child learns this principle is that they are developing their internal contracts – in effect, resolving the conflict between their immediate desire and the rules imposed upon them. They do not stop wanting that ice-cream, but learn that there are benefits (parental approval) in waiting.

So there’s an internal trade-off: I’ll stop screaming about chocolate if I get something else in return, such as parental approval and positive parental attention (cuddle, story, game).

We all as adults operate along these lines of emotional economics, the trade-off between conflicting drives. This is how we maintain psychic stability. If all aspects of our self are getting enough of what they need and desire, we maintain a stable personality. If we are not, then parts of us may start grumbling; ignore the grumbles for long enough, and they may start rioting.

When people have problems with unhelpful or self-destructive patterns of behaviour, this simply means that there’s an unresolved inner conflict: some part of us somewhere is not getting anything of what it wants. The inner contract is not delivering, and the psyche is no longer harmonious.

Social structure simply reflects our inner worlds. The ‘social compact’ is that we all give up some of our individual ‘animal’ behaviours in return for wider benefits, the primary of which is safety: I agree not to give in to any urges to kill, hurt or steal on the understanding that all of you act likewise towards me.

We tend to push the boundaries as much as we feel able to (which indicates that deep down we’re not totally comfortable with limiting ourselves in this way. Many people happily take a pad of Post-It notes or a biro home from work without ever thinking that it’s an act of theft. There are many grey areas that we will try to exploit. If you stop and reflect you may find various areas in which you nibble at the edges…

It’s true that those who have not fully resolved their own inner conflicts will be less likely to maintain the social compact, because the latter is founded on the former. Sections of society with lower levels of emotional literacy will be more likely to behave in overtly anti-social ways not because they are more anti-social but because they have not grown up in an environment that enabled them to develop a healthy resolution of their conflict between self and tribe.

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Making sense of chaos

Posted on 30 November 2011 by Richard

I haven’t blogged for a few months or so, to the evident disappointment of many (well, there’s been one request on Facebook!) I have actually started writing on several occasions but there has been so much going on in the world that every time I began it seemed that my words got overtaken by events; I felt I needed to expand what I was saying – and it all started to look rather like a book rather than a blog entry.

So I’m going to publish those blogs I began, rather than waste some interesting material. Unsurprisingly perhaps, the themes are mostly reflections on social turmoil. Not the happiest of subjects, but it’s the reality of our lives. Starting with one from mid-August:

Humbug

For those of us living in England the main topic during August was the riots. I felt very sorry for those killed or injured, for families burned out of their homes, for those whose businesses have been looted or completely destroyed. I was saddened by the events – but was I shocked or surprised? No, not really.

Reflecting on this I  found that alongside my sadness there was also anger, and one element of that anger was at the hypocrisy I witnessed.

I don’t for a moment condone the rioting and looting that went on. But listening to the grave, concerned voices from Parliament deploring the greed and sheer criminality of the ‘out of control’ youths made me shake my head in disbelief.

Greed? Sheer criminality? This from a group of people half of whom should be in prison? And if they weren’t privileged MPs but ordinary folk like you and me, would be in prison. Yes, the expenses scandal – remember that?

While it is true that a few Parliamentarians have been prosecuted, the vast majority got away scot-free. Collectively these people behaved like pigs with their snouts in the trough. Our lawmakers (!) engaged in outrageous expenses claims, claiming for this home, that home, non-existent homes, pruning the garden and providing duck islands. What astonishes me is that I have never heard a single MP express genuine regret at their behaviour. Regret at being found out, yes. Regret at Parliament being brought into disrepute, yes. But not a single one of them appeared to have truly understood why people were so incensed about it.

What is perhaps worse is that most of them were allowed to escape even censure. They were permitted to say “Sorry, I made a mistake” and pay back the money. Is this compassionate approach going to be accorded to the hoodies? “Sorry, I made a mistake. Let me give you back the trainers I nicked from JB Sports.”

Yeah, as if.

And what about the bankers? Fine upstanding middle-class people all, would never dream of looting. Except their unfettered greed, their overweening ambition to accumulate ever more profits, their insatiable lust for bigger bonuses, has brought the entire global economy to its knees. Thousands – if not millions – of people worldwide have lost their jobs and their homes. The debts will take decades to repay. An entire generation of youth have seen their future suddenly look utterly bleak.

What is clear from the riots is that for some people the social compact is meaningless. As I said, I don’t condone the rampage and violence that took place. But before we completely demonize these youths, let’s look at their behaviour in the context of the behaviour of the ‘upstanding’ members of society.

  •  Many MPs on a very comfortable salary of £65k falsely claim thousands of pounds in expenses.
  •  Many bankers pocket hundreds of thousands per year and cause thousands to lose their jobs, homes and businesses.
  •  A few low-paid or unemployed hoodies smash up the place and loot shops.

Can anyone tell me what the moral difference between them is?

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Life and other weirdness

Posted on 4 August 2011 by Richard

Godzilla vs King KongSometimes I wonder, I truly wonder… I mean… Life, you know?

I was expecting a parcel delivery today, via a courier service (which shall remain nameless to protect the guilty). I’d been told delivery would be anytime between 8am and 6pm, but that I would receive a text message about 2 hours before my delivery time so would be able to organise my day. So far, so good. Now I’d had a late night, didn’t get to bed until around 2am, and was half expecting to be woken early by a text beep on my mobile. As it happens, the Universe had other plans. At 4.30am I was jerked awake by such a screeching, banshee-like wailing and utter pandemonium that suggested a portal from the underworld had opened directly onto my patio and the hounds of hell were pouring through.

When I say the Universe had other plans, what I really mean is the local foxes. Why they had decided to use my patio for their impromptu bout of gang-warfare, I have no idea. But they had. Eventually they ran off, their dastardly deeds completed, leaving me so thoroughly awake that there was no chance of returning to sleep.

Now I think about it, I actually have no proof that it was foxes. It may indeed have been the hounds of hell, or squirrels on crack cocaine, or even the rematch of King Kong vs Godzilla. But I tend towards the foxes theory.

After an unexpected and undesired, yet productive and way-overdue bout of paperwork and tidying, it reached 9.30am and I had a hankering for some hot fresh bread. I hadn’t received the delivery alert, so I happily toddled off to the shops and bought a ready-to-bake baguette. Just as I left the shop my mobile bleeped: my delivery alert. It advised me to expect delivery between 10.15 and 11.15. I checked the time: 9.55. As I was only 5 minutes walk from home, no problemo. But rounding the corner of my street I spotted the courier van. A sudden awful thought shot through my mind – they’d turned up early, tried my doorbell and finding no-one in would at any second whizz off, leaving me annoyed and parcel-less.

I sprinted from the corner of the street up the van, and panted to the driver “Phew – I thought I was going to miss you. I think you’ve got a parcel for me.” I gave the woman my address and she confirmed that she did indeed have a parcel for me, adding “But I can’t give it to you.”

I don’t remember, but I suspect I did a double-take and gawped like a goldfish. “Delivery is scheduled for 10.15, and I’ll get into trouble if I deliver it early,” she explained helpfully. “Look,” she said, waving an electronic gizmo under my nose, “it’s warning me that I’m not allowed to deliver before the scheduled time. It tells me not to be naughty.” She shrugged. “It’s only my second day on the job. “

So I went indoors, and promptly 14 minutes and 37 seconds later my doorbell rang. It was Mrs Godzilla wanting to know if I’d seen her son. No, I made that bit up. It was the courier delivering my parcel. Ah, don’t you just love happy endings?

All’s well that ends well, apparently. But to have the courier there and waiting, and me there and waiting, but nothing can happen because a gizmo says no – then you know that something somewhere is wrong. We humans need meaning, and will seek to create it out of chaos. But in this case… Common sense has shrugged its shoulders, given up and walked off. Rhyme is silent, chewing her pencil, stuck for a match for courier. And Reason… well, I thought Reason was fast asleep, but he just opened one eye and lazily observed “If Godzilla doesn’t get you, the gizmo will.”

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Bad mothers and the reality myth

Posted on 3 June 2011 by Richard

Wicked witchI was talking to a woman recently (not a client) – who has just started therapy for the first time and felt confused. She was struggling with the truth about her childhood: her mother was emotionally unavailable and, while not absent, physically distant too – it was always dad who played with her, took her out, cared for her. She knows something of her mother’s history – that she carried deep wounds from her own childhood and perhaps did not have the capacity to be a good mother. So was she a damaged person who did her best – or a bad mother? The woman was sifting through her childhood memories, also quizzing her parents about the past, desperately wanting to know the truth. Meanwhile, she was making a huge effort to contain her emotions: she could accept the idea of getting angry with a bad mother, but not with a wounded mother. Before allowing herself to feel she wanted to discover what the reality of the situation had been.

This kind of examination of the past is productive; getting a picture of the family context in which we grew up is an important factor in understanding ourselves. What forces moulded us? What messages did we receive and what concepts did we develop about men, women, relationships, love, emotions, boundaries, self-expression..?

However, this needs to be done in the context of there being no single objective truth. It is important to develop the capacity to hold multiple realities.

As you are reading this you are probably sitting on a chair. If you’re not, please sit down so I can make my point! Notice the chair and the way your body presses down onto it. I’m sure you will have no doubt that your skin is touching something solid, something substantial – you’re clearly not floating in the air unsupported. True?

And yet if we scientifically examine that chair we find that it is composed of atoms that are in fact 99.99% empty space plus tiny amounts of energy: “sheer nothingness, sprinkled with unimaginably tiny specks” as Sir Arthur Eddington observed.

What is the reality? Is the chair substantial or is it sheer nothingness?

The answer is that it’s both. It is nothingness and it is substantial. Both realities are true. Our perception of the nature of the chair is completely at odds with our knowledge of its nature. Yet our perception is no less true. And in everyday life we go with our perceptions – we sit down on a chair never allowing our knowledge of its atomic structure to make us hesitate, wondering if nothingness can support us.

So it is with our past. It is useful to know what happened, but we can never know everything. There is no 24/7 video recording of our childhood that we can view to discover the whole truth. The memories of friends, parents and siblings may agree with ours – and sometimes they may not. We remember things others have forgotten. We have forgotten things that others recall well. Children with their limited cognitive abilities may misinterpret situations: for example, adults may withhold information to protect the child for the best of reasons; children (who possess great intuition) may sense something is wrong and conclude that there is some awful and shameful secret for which they are to blame…

There is a limit to our knowing. But our perceptions and feelings stay with us – and are present here and now. They are just as real as anything – in fact, more real than anything. I may wonder if I imagined some incident from childhood, but I cannot doubt how it is I feel right here right now.

So the truth for the woman I spoke to is that there are two truths that are not mutually exclusive. Yes, her mother may have been a deeply wounded woman who tried her best – and so deserves understanding and compassion. But for the child she was not a good enough mother – and the adult woman now carries a mother-shaped hole in her heart, which is reason for anger and grief.

The process of therapy is about expansion, and part of that expansion can be moving away from a very narrow focus and accepting that “either/or” beliefs are rarely satisfactory ways to define the human condition. Truth wears many faces.

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GSH RIP

Posted on 29 May 2011 by Richard

Gil Scott-HeronFive days after I quoted ‘The revolution will not be televised’ in my last post, poet & musician Gil Scott-Heron died. His poems, set to a usually understated jazz/funk backing, were not only passionate and insightful but often very witty. They covered a whole spectrum of socio-political issues, from social apathy (The revolution will not be televised), drugs (Angel dust), nuclear power (Shut ‘em down) and the absurdity of mainstream politics (B-movie). The world has lost a powerful voice. RIP, GSH.

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The revolution will be tweeted

Posted on 22 May 2011 by Richard


The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat.
The revolution will not be televised.

Gil Scott-Heron

The Pirate Bay and music downloads, Wikileaks and secret government documents, High Court superinjuctions and Twitter… spot the link.

Now I’m sure you’re a decent and upstanding member of society who would never dream of downloading music or videos illegally; who maybe thinks that the publication of secret diplomatic messages was irresponsible; who doesn’t actually care if premiership footballer Mr X has had an extra-marital affair resulting in a child. But whatever you think about the individual issues, there’s a revolution taking place, and you, me and the people next door are part of it.

The internet and the web are bringing about a social revolution. Kofi Annan, former secretary-general of the United Nations, stated “Knowledge is power. Information is liberating.” And the web is above all about the flow of information.

In the past information was very tightly controlled, and it was relatively easy for governments and organisations to keep secrets. A quiet word with a friend in a key position, a few bribes and, if push came to shove, a court injunction… Public sources of information were the TV, radio, newspapers and books, all in the hands of large organisations: you had some knowledge they wouldn’t disseminate? Tough. But no longer. Now, anyone can say anything anywhere. However true, however wacky, the information is out there: Google and it will given to you; Tweet and you will find; like and Facebook will be opened to you.

A committee of judges and lawyers has just concluded a year-long inquiry into the use of injunctions and super-injunctions. The committee was chaired by Lord Neuberger, the head of civil courts in England and Wales, who has stated that modern technology is “totally out of control” and society should consider ways to bring Twitter and other websites under control. [Reported by the BBC here]

Technology does not exist in a vacuum: it is a tool used by people. Tweets don’t write themselves, websites don’t publish themselves – the messages are written by people. So what Lord Neuberger has actually declared is that people are totally out of control.

Now isn’t that interesting?

I’m sure it is a sentiment shared by Hosni Mubarak, former president of Egypt, by Zine Ben Ali, former president of Tunisia – both ousted in the recent Arab Spring revolutions. And definitely by Colonel Gaddafi who is still clinging to power. Twitter, it must be remembered, played a huge part in bringing people together to create these revolutions.

Those who hold power rarely wish to share it. But the web is informing and empowering people, and governmental control over society is starting to show cracks everywhere.

The Western powers have been urging Arab governments to embrace democracy. But we don’t actually have true democracy here in the West. Democracy is ‘government by the people’. What we have is elected dictatorship: every 5 years we elect a group of people who run the country as they see fit. Democracy would be all of us having a say in everything, but that’s not on offer. You pick the manifesto you like best (or hate least) – what’s not available is the real choice to say “I want you to do this, but not that.”

In my view we are in the early days of a social revolution. Hierarchical structures with power concentrated at the top are starting to lose their grip on the flow of information. People are gaining knowledge, acquiring information and realising that this gives them power. Once you have power, why would you want to give it away?

Governments are naturally fighting back and are looking for ways to control the web. You probably don’t take an interest in these issues, thinking they’re only aimed at restraining geeks, pirates and hackers. But don’t be fooled: ultimately it’s all about who is control.

The most senior civil judge in England reckons you are totally out of control. Think on it.

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Tempus fugit, innit

Posted on 14 April 2011 by Richard

dandelion clock
Tempus, as the Romans said, fugit. Time flies. I was recently watching a TV programme (possibly Question Time) and one of the panellists made a comment about what was right for “21st century Britain”. I did a double-take. 21st century? Well, yes. I was one of the 3 million Londoners revelling along the Embankment on 31 December 1999 and enjoying the fantastic Millennium Night fireworks. So on one level I am perfectly aware that the 20th century ended 11 years ago. But my surprise at hearing those words on TV suggests that another part of me hasn’t quite caught on… To that part of me the 21st century means ‘the future’ – only it appears we’re living the future right now.

There was also a report recently that highlighted the high cost of car insurance for young men: apparently 17-20 year-olds are typically being quoted £2000-£3000 per year to insure their cars. Thinking about this, it struck me that when I was 18 years old I don’t think anyone I knew had passed their driving test, let alone actually owned a car. Cars – like mortgages – were things only serious and responsible grown-ups had.

But things change. We notice major transformations easily, such as old buildings being demolished and new ones being built. Or becoming a parent, when abruptly your life stops being your own. Others are more gradual, and we don’t tend to notice until something draws our attention and we find ourselves seeing past and present together clearly.

This may be poignant, shocking or amusing. Amusing like when we find we don’t understand the slang of ‘the younger generation’ – for example, the London teenager who ordered a ‘Joe Baxi’, explaining to the perplexed phone operator “it’s a cab, innit” – only to receive on her doorstep a cabinet rather than her expected minicab (true story, read it here.)

What can also be very interesting is when we look at past expectations of the future we now live in. During one vacation at university I had a part-time job working in a secondhand bookshop that had a large collection of old magazines. On quiet days (which, to be honest, was actually most of them) I would read magazines such as ‘John Bull’ and be fascinated and entertained by the current affairs and preoccupations of 25 years before. One article I remember vividly. It was about the nuclear power station at Windscale that was just coming into operation – so probably dated from the early-mid 1950s. It claimed that nuclear energy was such a technological marvel that in the future electricity would be so cheap the power companies might not even bother billing us for it. At the very least, the bill would only be for a few pence.

robotI also recall that in the early 1970s people were predicting that by the end of the 20th century we would have a leisure society. Advances in automation, robotics and computing would mean that machines would be doing the work. If we humans worked it would only perhaps be for 2 days a week – to stave off boredom. For the rest of the time we would be engaged in personally fulfilling interests, hobbies and leisurely relaxation. What happened???

What happened? I don’t know. But here we are, 11 years past the end of the 20th century and most of us are actually working harder and longer, and such a leisure society remains a pipedream.

What was your pipedream 10, 20 or 30 years ago? You are now living in the future. Tomorrow has become today. Has life delivered what you expected or wanted? Probably not. Perhaps the unexpected outcome is better than what you dreamed. Perhaps you have some dreams unfulfilled. What are they? What stops you from working towards them? How about doing something about it now? Tomorrow never actually comes: it is always today.

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Women, sex and Gauguin

Posted on 5 April 2011 by Richard

A woman has attacked the painting Two Tahitian Women by Paul Gauguin at the National Gallery in Washington DC. Susan Burns from Virginia tried to rip the painting from the wall, but it was protected by a sheet of plexiglass and fortunately was undamaged. [Read BBC news report]

Ms Burns apparently told the police that she thought the painting should be burned, commenting:

“I feel that Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. He has two women in the painting and it’s very homosexual.”

In the highly unlikely event that Ms Burns is reading this blog, let me say that I make absolutely no apology whatsoever in reproducing the painting here.


Frankly, I have to say that any evil is in the eye of the beholder. I personally adore Gauguin’s works, the rich, voluptuous colours, the fascinating and mysterious symbolism, and above all the gorgeous earthiness of them. The tropics seethe with life. It’s not just abundant, it overflows. Mankind is not the master, as can sometime seem the case in the more sedate northern climes. Gauguin captured the paradise fantasy – which is only half the story. The other half is the overwhelming nature of Nature. For a fascinating account of this, try to find a copy of Fatu Hiva by Norwegian adventurer and ethnographer Thor Heyerdahl, the story of how he and his new bride went to live in a hut on an island in French Polynesia (in my opinion, much more fascinating than his more famous Kon Tiki expedition).

But back to Gauguin.

I do not have Ms Burns’ eyes, thank goodness. There are two women in the picture – but homosexual? Yes, they are bare-breasted. Maybe their shoulders are touching. It is a very sensual and beautiful picture. But if it encapsulates a lesbian erotic energy that is likely to overpower women, then perhaps all women ought to wear burqas. Which I’m sure Ms Burns would actually wish – except that coming from Virginia she is more likely to be a Christian fundamentalist than an Islamic one.

As for the idea that nudity is “bad” for children – that is starting to approach my idea of evil. There is nothing shameful in the human body, and any parent who teaches their child otherwise is – well, I would politely suggest in need of therapy.

I don’t know if Ms Burns is a religious fundamentalist, in a disturbed state of mind, or perhaps has some nasty trauma in her history. Whichever, she has my sympathy. But I am glad she didn’t succeed in destroying a work of art.

It might be argued that Gauguin is depicting fantasy and that there is a voyeuristic quality to some of his paintings; certainly there has been post-colonial and feminist critique of his work. Is this painting pornography? I don’t think so. I see nothing degrading in it, and do not consider that depictions of the naked human form are inherently pornographic. But then I’m a man, and however sensitive I may be, I cannot see this painting throught the eyes of one who spent their life as a woman in this culture at this time. (Want to comment? Use the form below to make your point.)

I certainly believe that female sexuality has been demonised for millennia. But my response as a therapist is to empower women, and help them find their own sexual power. Not the stereotyped ‘seductive power’, nor yet a simulacrum of male sexual power, but something that is real, true and defined by the client herself. When women discover it, they really understand just why society has been repressing it for thousands of years.

I think I see a quality in Gauguin’s two Tahitian women that I can only call self-containment. They are fully present, fully aware, centred and grounded. One looks at Gauguin frankly. She sees him, yet is not energetically entangled with him. The other woman looks askance at the artist. She perhaps feels his energy, yet is clearly not wanting to engage. Both women may have been depicted by Gauguin, but they are not defined by him.

And that’s the crux of the matter: when it comes to power, who defines you?

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Hypnogogic poodle-fakers

Posted on 29 March 2011 by Richard

Last night I went to bed tired out; my head touched the pillow, I started drifting off, and bam! My brain decided it wasn’t ready for sleep. In spite of the rest of my body being more than ready to slip into dreams, some part of my mind wanted to think.”You gotta be joking – I’m tired!” I complained to the inconsiderate me, “Please just go to sleep.”

But no, something (some-me? If there isn’t such a word, there is now) was wide awake. What perhaps made it worse was that the thought that came first was utterly inconsequential.

Gutta-percha.
WTF? Gutta-percha??? Why are you keeping me awake thinking about gutta-percha?
I’m not thinking about gutta-percha. It just struck me that ‘gutta-percha’ is a lovely word. I’m thinking about words I like.
Ok, ok. Yes, ‘gutta-percha’ is a strange and lovely word. Now can we go to sleep?
What others words are odd, funny but have a nice ring?
I don’t want to think about words. I want to go to sleep.
Well I want to think about words. Come on, some words are delightfully odd, aren’t they?
Oh well, if you insist… ‘Tiffin’ – that’s a good one. Anglo-indian, popular in Victorian times. Not really used in the UK any more.
Good. Another one?
‘Poodle-faker’ – another 19th century anglo-indian word.
Great! More!
‘Persiflage.’
Wonderful! Now put them together in a sentence.
Ummm… After a morning visiting his gutta-percha manufactory, the poodle-faker loved nothing better than engaging in some persiflage with the ladies over tiffin.
Excellent.
Now we can go to sleep?
Mmm… ok.

Random, or what? Now why I apparently had some need to play silly games with words when I felt so tired is beyond me. Maybe it was some kind of free-association so beloved of Freudian therapists. Perhaps it was simple need to re-experience – if only for a few minutes – the kind of delight children have in strange and funny things. I don’t know, and right now don’t feel the need to find out. Self-awareness has its limits.

Now, maybe you don’t know what ‘gutta-percha’ is, nor what a poodle-faker does, or how one would go about engaging in persiflage, and whether you would enjoy tiffin or not. You may be fascinated by hypnogogic phenomena – those strange thoughts, hallucinations, feelings and sensations that can occur as we are drifting off to sleep. So let me say: go and find a dictionary or check Wikipedia. Me – I’m tired and off to bed.

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